No chemo today

Last week I had chemo on Monday then a transfusion on Tuesday. On Wednesday I saw my breast surgeon - the original one and the one I will be going with. Thursday I didn't have any doctors to visit. Friday I saw a plastic surgeon. 

Today I went back for chemo but all of my counts were too low. White blood count, red blood count, platelets, and hemoglobin. So no chemo. I see my oncologist on Friday afternoon and she wants to check my blood then and possibly do chemo if my counts are good. 

So now I'm not sure how this affects my timeline or surgery or scans or anything. But there's nothing I can do about it so we just have to hope and pray for good counts and chemo to resume and finish. 

Blood

So today I went for my blood transfusion. It took over seven and a half hours. I waited for over an hour to even get called back, then got my port accessed, took Tylenol and Benadryl, waited 30 minutes for those to soak in, then got started with the transfusion. They had it on a very slow drip. And it took so long! 

Chemo 14

Today was very draining. I had to wait an hour before they even called me back. Then they did my blood and while we were waiting on that, we listened to the poor family in the room next to us decide to stop treatment on their wife/sister (the husband and sister were the ones deciding). She had a brain tumor that was not getting better. And she was very unresponsive and out of it. So, so sad. And depressing. 

Then we got my blood results and they were not great. My white blood count was ok, red blood count was low as usual, the platelets were way down, and my hemoglobin was very low for the first time. So that puts me in the severe anemic range. And that has scored me a blood transfusion tomorrow. I'm nervous about it. I told the nurse "I only have 3 more of these chemo's. Do I really need blood?" But they all agreed that I do. So I get to go back tomorrow for a 4-5 hour long blood transfusion. Let's hope this blood comes from someone healthy and awesome. I am type A+ (of course I'm A+ - I'm practically perfect!) ;-) so I hope this person is as cool as me. 

Last Friday I saw a second surgeon and was not crazy about her or her plan. It was fine, just not exactly what I wanted.  So I'm going back to surgeon number 1 this week to get more info on her plan. Then I will decide. 

I saw a radiation oncologist today and really, really liked him. I saw him on recommendation of the surgeons. And he told me he has sent his own close friend to my surgeon number 1 for breast surgery and that she does a great job and is what he considers one of the best. That was a good recommendation and made me feel better about her. 

I haven't asked my oncologist about a radiation oncologist, but she may have one she wants me to see too. 

So I have a transfusion tomorrow, a surgeon visit on Thursday, and rest in between. I'm staying away from school this week to try to keep my counts up, stay well, and rest. 

Busy day. 

Chemo 13 - 3 more!

Today was chemo 13. I had an early appointment so I was finished and at home by 2:00. Just the one drug today so it was fairly simple. 

I am still feeling good. I have random side effects, but nothing too bad. There was a man checking in while I was waiting today and the receptionist asked him how he was doing. He was obviously moving slowly and not feeling great, but his answer was "Blessed. Blessed to be here today." And I think that pretty much sums up how I feel. The side effects are weird, but I would rather have them than have cancer. What's the use in complaining? It could be worse. 

So I will happily be bald and eyebrow and eyelash and nose hair-less. And have a bloody nose every day. And have bone pain and body aches. And have everything taste blah. And just be tired. That's fine. That's doable. I'm alive, I'm here, and I am blessed to be. 

I have a surgeon interview on Friday. I am anxious to hear what she has to say/recommend. 

Thank you for praying with and for us. I added a little gadget on the right side of this post that says Have our posts emailed to you. You can enter in your email address if you would like to get the updates that way if you're not on Facebook. I will continue to put them on Facebook for everyone else. :-)

Chemo 12 - 4 more

Here for both drugs today. Brian is back with me. And cookie boy has already visited us. I'm in a room with a bed instead of a recliner today and it is weird. So I'm perched on the bed. I refuse to lie down. 

(Thanks to some cute kindergarteners for my new blanket!)

They are super busy around here today. Since it's nurse's week I brought all the infusion nurses a little treat to thank them. They turned out cute I think!

So yesterday was Mother's Day and it was so sweet to spend it with my boys and my parents. The boys each wrote me the cutest notes and stories. It's great to be able to spend the day with them. I know that no one is guaranteed tomorrow, I get that, it's just that when the bad news started with me all I could think about was leaving my kids. And when you get cancer news, not being guaranteed tomorrow is something that you think about all.the.time. And it sucks but it makes you appreciate everything. When you're not crying. 😛

Timothy wanted to go to the pool yesterday so we did. It was COLD! I just stuck in a foot and it was too cold for me.   So I just sat around pool side and took selfies. Cover your bald head with a sun hat. That's the look this summer! 

I may have to rig up something on my sun hat though cause I had to hold that sucker on a few times yesterday. I didn't want to blind the lifeguard with my bright white head! Maybe some straps to go around my ears. Maybe. 

That's all for today! Still praying big! 😌

Chemo 11 - 5 More

Today was chemo 11. And today started with a bang so it was fun trying to get out of the house. Brian was flying to San Diego for work this afternoon so Mom was going with me today. And she and Dad just came back from Italy yesterday afternoon and are trying to get back on a normal time schedule. Well, Timothy woke up with a fever and a headache and a "head that hurts when I touch my hair like this." So we had to scramble around to figure out what to do since he couldn't go to school. Brian was able to drop Thomas off at school and get Timothy to the doctor at 9 while Mom and I headed on to the Med Center. He has strep throat. :-/ Dad had a dentist appointment at 9:30 and afterward he came to our house to stay with Timothy while Brian went to catch his flight. So it was a scramble but we got it all worked out. I'm so thankful for my husband and parents for keeping us going through all this. 

Mom got to meet cookie boy today and she was impressed with his peanut butter cookies. 

My white count was again very high. Even higher than last week. So I don't have to give myself ANY shots this week. Yay! Those things make my bones hurt. 

I talked with my oncologist today and I have 5 more chemo treatments then I will have a PET scan and another ultrasound and mammogram while I wait 3 weeks for surgery. I want to interview another surgeon just so I can have another opinion before I let someone cut off my body parts. I want it to be the right person doing the cutting. 

Some people have asked me about reconstruction, and with this cancer and the fact that it affected the skin, they have to cut off the skin. So I am not a candidate for implants. I also have to have radiation so I am not a candidate for immediate reconstruction. (radiation makes it shrivel and get all weird looking) So the surgery should just be a double mastectomy with no reconstruction. If I do reconstruction I will have to wait 6 months to a year. And I'm not sure I want it anyway. It's a long surgery and an awful recovery. I don't know that I want to go through that. Or miss out on time with my kids while I'm recovering from that. So it's not high on my priority list. 

A few things: 

1. Here's my pet wig. I usually take it off as soon as I get in the car after school every day. Then I toss it on the counter or hang it on the back of a bar stool. I'm getting tired of that thing.  

2. Still eating tons of spinach. But, I have also tried 2 different vegan, gluten free pizzas now and I want to caution everyone that if you are ever offered vegan, gluten free pizza, JUST SAY NO. It is awful. The worst. 

3. Still praying for miraculous healing. This cancer sucks. Being a mom with cancer sucks. Being a wife and daughter with cancer sucks. I feel bad for my family. And I don't FEEL sick. I just look sick. This is the worst. Even worse than the vegan, gluten free pizza. :-)